I am a bit of a romantic, some say a softie.  Life is not like it is in the films.  During Carole’s last days she didn’t say a lot.  She was often sleeping and sometimes mumbled her words.  One morning I asked her if she wanted to drink.  She mumbled a reply, so I moistened her lips with a small sponge.  She opened an eye and with whiplash  clarity snapped “I ASKED – WHAT IS IT?”.  These were her last words to me.  Proof positive then – as everyone knows – Carole wore the trousers.  What fewer know is that she didn’t always wear knickers, although I am glad to say she is wearing Primarks finest today.
 
Carole was a lioness.  No surprise given that she was born on 4th August – a Leo.  When writing this, I did some research.  Lionesses apparently, are more dangerous than the male of the species.  I should have known that from the start. They are also incredibly loyal to the pride, protect the young, generous and brave.  Her courage, especially during the last 18 months has been inspirational, a true case of “cheerfulness in the face of adversity”.  There were few sense of humour failures, although on one occasion there were “words” when most of her underwear disappeared in the wash.  I will always remember “Knicker Gate”.
She was incredibly generous, often to the point where she would go without.  Her generosity often found it’s outlet in her creative output, as a florist and later as a card and craft maker. Who would have thought that this former military accountant would go on to become a Chelsea Flower Show medal winner?  But here’s the thing.  The pleasure she got was from the joy that her creativity gave to others.  Wedding flowers were a favourite, as some of you here will know.  The long hours and scratched hands were all worth it when she saw the look on the brides face. 
 
She had an incredible capacity for love.  From this, we have 2 wonderful and talented daughters who in turn have given us 2 equally precocious and amazing grandchildren.  Carole came into her own as super gran and was at her happiest when with Ella and Sebbi.  One of her few regrets was that Covid and geography kept her apart from Sebbi for so long, but I am sure she will keep watch from heaven.
 
When she was ill, and since she has passed I have received literally hundreds of messages, stories and photos involving Carole. There are some key themes: tireless, helpful, crazy, laughter, alcohol – fuelled adventures abroad, resourcefulness, bingo-loving, surrogate mum, accident prone, vibrant, multi-coloured wigs, incontinence, flooded bathrooms, creativity, gin buddy, a heart as big as a lion, a bare arse, Army days, coffee and baileys, special gifts and thoughtful presents, lover of jigsaw puzzles, laughter and love, dancing on chairs, St Pats Day parties, Irish stew, capable, honest, generous, loyal and caring.
 
How do I feel? Well I’m not sure.  I know there’s a huge Carole shaped hole in my life and don’t know what to do with it.  I will need all your help in the weeks and months to come.
 
I’ll leave you with one thought though.  Someone who couldn’t make it today recounted a story that a guided tour around our married quarter in Germany included an impressive mountain of ironing hidden in a cupboard.  Our friend said – “I loved Carole’s attitude and it taught me one thing – life’s to bloody short to iron”.  I think that’s a good starting point.